What to Do When Your Partner Won’t Go to Therapy: Try This First

 

Relationships are central to our lives, providing connection, support, and love. Yet, even the strongest relationships can hit rough patches where everything feels “stuck.” Arguments may become repetitive, emotional distance may grow, or issues may persist despite attempts to address them. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Individual therapy can be a transformative tool for breaking through these challenges, even if your partner isn’t ready to join you in therapy.

Common Signs Your Relationship Might Be Stuck

When a relationship feels stuck, it’s often due to underlying patterns or unresolved issues. These might include:

Communication breakdowns

  • Conversations might feel more like debates or accusations than meaningful exchanges.

Emotional disconnection

  • You may feel distant from your partner, even when spending time together.

Unresolved conflicts

  • Old arguments or hurts may linger beneath the surface, impacting trust and closeness.

Differing needs or priorities

  • You and your partner may struggle to align your goals or values.

While these challenges are common, they can leave you feeling helpless and unsure of how to move forward.

How Individual Therapy Can Help

Individual therapy isn’t just about addressing personal concerns; it’s also a powerful avenue for improving your relationships. Here’s how it can help:

Gaining Self-Awareness

Therapy provides a safe space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You can uncover patterns such as people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, or defensiveness that may be contributing to the dynamic in your relationship.

Developing Healthy Communication Skills

A therapist can help you identify ineffective communication habits and teach you new strategies for expressing your needs and listening to your partner.

Increasing Emotional Regulation Skills

If you feel overwhelmed by emotions like anger, sadness, or frustration, therapy can provide tools for regulation and reflection, helping you approach relationship challenges more calmly.

Healing Past Wounds

Unresolved personal or relational traumas can influence how you show up in your relationship. Therapy can help you process these experiences and reduce their impact on your present.

Building Boundaries and Confidence

If your relationship feels unbalanced or one-sided, therapy can help you establish healthy boundaries and advocate for your needs without guilt.

Why Choose a Relational Therapist for Individual Therapy?

Not all individual therapists approach relationship challenges in the same way. It’s crucial to work with a therapist trained in relational dynamics and systems theory if you’re seeking therapy due to relationship concerns. A therapist skilled in relational work will focus on understanding the full relationship system rather than simply reinforcing blame or encouraging separation. This helps you gain deeper insights into the patterns that keep your relationship stuck and empowers you to create positive change without just prematurely ending your relationship.

Can Individual Changes Improve the Relationship?

You might worry that working on your relationship alone won’t make a difference. However, change often begins with one person. As you grow and shift, the dynamics in your relationship can naturally start to transform. Your partner may even feel inspired to join you in therapy down the road.

When to Seek Individual Therapy

Consider reaching out to a therapist if:

  • You feel stuck or unhappy in your relationship.

  • Your attempts to improve the relationship haven’t worked.

  • You want to understand your role in the relationship dynamic.

  • You’re considering big decisions, such as whether to stay in the relationship.

Start Your Journey With Austin Relational Wellness

At Austin Relational Wellness, we understand the complexities of relationships and the courage it takes to seek help. Our experienced therapists are here to support you in navigating challenges, whether you’re seeking clarity, healing, or growth.

You don’t have to stay stuck. Taking the first step toward individual therapy can lead to meaningful change in yourself and potentially in your relationship.

Schedule a free 15-minute phone consult today to learn how we can help you move forward.

 

5 Books Every Couple Should Read This Summer: Couples Therapist Picks

 

As Summer approaches quickly, you may be looking for a poolside read, maybe something that is enriching and cultivating of your relationships. Reading a book on relationships with your partner can be an excellent way to spark meaningful conversations, provide shared language, and offer insight into intimacy, connection, and communication. It can also be illuminating to read about other relationships that are going through similar challenges to those you and your partner may be facing.

The following five books have been pivotal over the past five years in helping couples and therapists grow in their understanding of what makes relationships work. Whether you're navigating everyday stressors or hoping to reconnect on a deeper level, these reads can support your journey toward a more fulfilling partnership, enhancing your connection and intimacy.

1. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver (Updated Edition - 2019)

The Gottmans are leading voices in the world of couples counseling. Their principles, founded in decades of extensive research, have proven to help couples build strong, resilient relationships. Within this book, you’ll find tools for resolving conflict, building emotional intimacy, and strengthening the friendship at the heart of your partnership. With guided exercises and real-life examples, this book is a great place to begin your relational work.  

2. Fair Play by Eve Rodsky (2019)

No partnership is spared from household tasks and responsibilities. Rodsky refers to these as the “invisible load,” which can create added pressure and tension in a relationship. To address this issue, Rodsky develolped the Fair Play card system, which helps couples explore this invisible load and redistribute tasks more equitably. This system encourages communicating more openly about needs and everyday tasks. This book is great for working partners struggling to make sense of and achieve a better balance at home.


3. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller (2018 Edition)

Understanding your attachment style is an important step in recognizing how you and partner relate to one another. This book breaks down the basics of secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment styles, providing clear examples and practical insights to help you build a healthier and more secure attachment and connection. It’s a helpful resource for anyone interested in exploring how past experiences may impact present day relational dynamics.

4. Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski (Revised Edition - 2021)

Sex and intimacy challenges are among the most common reasons people seek couples counseling. It’s a topic that can be vulnerable, confusing, and even lead toconflict. Within this book, Nagasaki explores, through both scientific insights and compassionate understanding, the dynamics of sexual responses, desire patterns, and the emotional connections to pleasure. She gently guides the reader to reframe sexual challenges not as problems but as opportunities for curiosity, communication, and increased emotional and physical intimacy. 

5. Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship by Terrence Real (2022)

In this book, Terry Real explores the culture of individualism and how it undermines intimacy in our relationships. He reframes conflict and connection by emphasizing collaboration rather than competition for our needs to be met. Real helps identify and shift the perspective from “you and me” to “us.” This book offers a fresh perspective on vulnerability and cultivating empathy in our relationships. 

When to Take the Next Step and Start Couples Therapy

While books can’t replace the power of therapy, they can be an excellent tool to support reflection, growth, and meaningful conversations in your relationships. If you’re looking to go deeper, working with a couples therapist can provide the personalized support and guidance you need. Don’t hesitate to reach out and book a session with one of our specialized couples therapists—we’d be honored to support you on your journey toward a thriving relationship. 

Experienced couples therapist in Austin supporting relationship growth
 

You’re Saying Sorry the Wrong Way: A Therapist’s Guide to Real Apologies

 

As a licensed couples therapist in Austin, one of the most common hurdles we tackle in couples therapy and that I see in relationships in general is the struggle to offer—and receive—a genuine, real apology. Maybe you’ve been there: You or your partner says “sorry,” but the tension doesn’t go away. Or you hear an apology that somehow leaves you feeling even less understood.

You wonder, Why doesn’t that count? Isn’t saying sorry enough?

For many people, the act of apologizing feels vulnerable, confusing, or even threatening. Maybe you didn’t grow up seeing healthy apologies modeled in the relationships or marriages around you. Maybe you equate apologizing with admitting you're a bad person. Or maybe you're not sure what a real apology is supposed to sound like. 

Let’s break down what an effective apology is (and isn’t), and walk through some practical tips on how to apologize in a relationship the right way—so your words can actually foster healing, reconnection, and emotional intimacy.

1. Start With Clear, Direct Responsibility 

An effective apology names what happened—clearly and without defensiveness. 

Example: “I snapped at you during our conversation, and I can see that it hurt you.” 

Not: “I’m sorry if I upset you.” 

That little word “if” can make your partner feel like their reaction is the problem. When in doubt, drop qualifiers and name your behavior. 

2. Acknowledge the Emotional Impact with Empathy

Take a moment to reflect on how your actions made your partner feel. Then say it out loud.

Example: “I imagine it felt really invalidating when I dismissed your concerns.” 

This shows that you’re not just checking a box—you’re tapping into empathy and trying to understand their experience. This deepens emotional intimacy and helps your partner feel understood.

3. Avoid Defensiveness and Excuses 

It’s tempting to justify your actions, especially if you didn’t mean to hurt your partner. But remember: intent does not cancel out impact. 

Example: “Even though I was feeling overwhelmed, it wasn’t okay to take it out on you.” 

Not: “I was just stressed. You were being really intense.” 

Responsibility and context can co-exist. A good apology owns what happened and saves the explanation for later, if your partner asks for it. 

4. Express Genuine Regret 

Let your partner know that you care about the hurt your actions caused—not just that it caused conflict, but that it hurt them personally. 

Example: “It really bothers me to know that I made you feel alone. That’s the last thing I want.”

This is the emotional glue of a meaningful apology. It fosters connection and helps rebuild emotional intimacy and safety.

5. Commit to Change 

Even the most heartfelt apology will fall flat if the behavior keeps repeating. Talk about what you’ll do differently next time. 

Example: “Next time I feel overwhelmed, I’ll ask for a break instead of shutting down.” 

You don’t have to be perfect, but effort matters. Apologies create trust when they’re backed by action. That’s the core of true relationship repair.

6. Give Your Partner Space to Respond 

A good apology is not a monologue—it’s the start of a dialogue. After you’ve apologized, give your partner a chance to express how they feel. Don’t rush to move on or expect instant forgiveness. 

Example: “Is there anything else you want me to understand?”

TL;DR: How to Apologize in a Relationship the Right Way

An effective apology has five key ingredients: 

  1. Clarity – State what you did. 

  2. Empathy – Acknowledge the hurt. 

  3. Ownership – No excuses or blame. 

  4. Regret – Show you care about the impact. 

  5. Repair – Commit to doing better. 

A real apology isn’t just about saying the words—it’s about taking ownership, showing empathy, and making the other person feel seen and valued. Sincere apologies don’t just fix problems—they build emotional intimacy.

They say: I see you. I hear you. You matter to me. 

If you or your partner struggle with apologies or with communication in general, couples therapy can be a safe space to explore these patterns and build new ones.

Looking for Austin couples therapy? We're here to help you reconnect.

 

What to Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session in Austin

 

Deciding to begin couples therapy is a big step—one that takes courage, commitment, and a shared desire for growth. Whether you and your partner are facing a specific challenge or simply want to strengthen your relationship, that first therapy session can feel like a mix of hope and uncertainty. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I want to help you feel prepared and confident about what to expect during your first couples therapy session. 

What Happens in Your First Couples Therapy Session 

Your initial session serves as a foundation for your therapy journey. It’s an opportunity for you, your partner, and your therapist to establish trust, set expectations, and begin to understand the dynamics of your relationship. Here’s what typically happens: 

1. Introductions and Creating a Safe Space 

Your therapist will begin by introducing themselves and outlining their approach to therapy. They will also discuss confidentiality and how therapy sessions will be conducted. The goal is to create a safe and supportive environment where both partners feel heard and respected. 

2. Understanding Your Relationship Story 

Your therapist will ask questions about your relationship history—how you met, significant milestones, and what has brought you to therapy at this time. This helps the therapist get a sense of your dynamic, strengths, and challenges. 

3. Identifying Your Therapy Goals

Together, you and your partner will discuss what you hope to gain from therapy. Are you looking to improve communication? Rebuild trust? Strengthen intimacy? Understanding your couples therapy goals helps the therapist tailor the sessions to your unique needs. 

4. Establishing a Plan for Future Sessions 

Before wrapping up, your therapist will discuss the structure of future sessions and what you can expect moving forward. This may include setting up a schedule for sessions, discussing the couples therapist's therapeutic approach, and outlining strategies to work on between sessions. The goal is to ensure both partners feel comfortable and committed to the process. 

Common Concerns About Starting Couples Therapy

It’s natural to have concerns before starting therapy. Here are a few common ones: 

● What if we disagree during the session? That’s okay! The therapist is there to help navigate conflicts in a productive way. 

● Will the therapist take sides? No. A licensed couples therapist remains neutral, ensuring both partners feel validated and heard. 

● What if one of us is hesitant about therapy? It’s common for one partner to be more eager than the other. The therapist will work to create a comfortable space for both of you to engage in the process at your own pace. 

Moving Forward Together: Next Steps After Your First Couples Therapy Session

The first session is just the beginning. Couples therapy is a journey that takes time, effort, and patience. With an open mind and a willingness to grow, you and your partner can create a stronger, healthier relationship. 

If you’re considering couples therapy, I encourage you to take that first step with curiosity and hope. The path to deeper connection starts with one conversation at a time.

 

5 Ways Couples Therapy Can Strengthen Your Relationship

 
Therapy session focused on building trust and communication in Austin couple

Maintaining a healthy relationship requires ongoing effort and commitment. All relationships can go through challenges, making it difficult to stay connected. During times of stress and disconnection, seeking guidance from couples therapy can offer a structured space to explore and work to strengthen your relationship. A common misconception of starting couples therapy is that therapy is only for relationships that are in disarray.

While couples therapy can be incredibly beneficial for times of stress to help regulate and de-escalate tension, it can also be used as a valuable tool for gaining a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner.

Couples therapy session in Austin focused on communication and connection

Here are just 5 ways that couples therapy can strengthen your relationship: 

  1. Gain a Deeper Understanding of Yourself and Your Partner

    One of the most impactful aspects of couples therapy is the opportunity to slow down and tune in to one another. In our busy lives, it’s easy to fall into autopilot and miss the chance for genuine connection. Couples therapy can help provide communication skills and an environment to help attune and learn to understand one another better. 

  2. Improve Communication in Your Relationship

    When we’re hurt or frustrated, it can be challenging to communicate effectively. Effective communication is at the heart of any strong relationship. In therapy, you acquire tools to express your feelings and needs clearly, even when emotions run high. Better communication not only leads to a deeper understanding of one another but also helps keep your emotional responses regulated, creating a calmer, more supportive interaction even during conflicts.

  3. Build Conflict Resolution Skills that Last

    Conflict is a natural part of every relationship. Sometimes, couples can feel stuck in repetitive patterns of distress, where even though the content changes, the same pattern reemerges, leading to increased tension. Couples therapy can help you break these patterns by equipping you with the tools and skills necessary to resolve and repair conflicts before they escalate to burnout or disconnection.

    For a deep dive into identifying and shifting unhelpful cycles, check out our post on Understanding Your Negative Pattern: What is Emotionally Focused Therapy.

  4. Deepen Trust and Emotional Safety with Your Partner

    In our relationships, we look to one another to understand whether we are available, responsive, and emotionally engaged. In couples therapy, you can learn how to create a safe and secure way of relating to one another, which helps foster trust and emotional safety within the relationship.

    Check out Unlock the Secret to a Stronger Marriage with the A.R.E. of EFT and Attachment Theory to explore using the A.R.E. framework (Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement).

  5. Learn to Identify and Express Relationship Needs

    Expressing our needs in a relationship is essential to connection. However, articulating what we need and ensuring our partner understands can be challenging. Therapy can help you practice communicating your needs more effectively, ensuring that both partners are understood and heard, which can foster a more empathetic and responsive relationship.

Austin couples working on strengthening their relationship through therapy
Experienced couples therapist in Austin supporting relationship growth
 

Beyond the Bedroom: A Therapist's Perspective on Building Emotional Intimacy in Couples Therapy

 

Intimacy is one of the most important aspects of a healthy, fulfilling relationship—yet it is also one of the most complex and sensitive topics couples navigate. Whether you are facing emotional disconnection, differences in sexual desire, or challenges in physical closeness, discussing intimacy concerns in couples therapy can be a transformative step toward deeper connection and understanding. If you and your partner are considering couples therapy to explore intimacy, here’s what to expect and how to approach this important conversation. 

Understanding Intimacy Beyond the Physical 

When many couples think about intimacy, they often focus on the physical or sexual aspects. While physical closeness, including sex, is a key component, true intimacy extends beyond the bedroom. Emotional intimacy—feeling seen, heard, and valued by your partner—is just as essential. Many couples struggle with intimacy because emotional barriers, unresolved conflicts, or external stressors make it difficult to connect on a deeper level. 

Creating a Safe Space for Vulnerability 

Talking about intimacy can feel uncomfortable, especially if past conversations have led to misunderstandings or hurt feelings. One of the biggest benefits of couples therapy is the creation of a safe, neutral space where both partners can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or blame. 

A couples therapist helps facilitate these conversations with care, ensuring that both partners feel heard and understood. Couples therapy is not about taking sides but about fostering open, honest communication that leads to mutual growth and healing.

Identifying and Overcoming Barriers 

Many factors can contribute to intimacy concerns in a relationship. Some common barriers include: 

  • Unresolved conflicts – Lingering resentment or unspoken frustrations can create emotional distance. 

  • Mismatched desire levels – Differences in libido or sexual needs can lead to feelings of rejection or pressure when discussing sex. 

  • Past trauma or negative experiences – Previous experiences, whether from childhood or past relationships, can shape one’s comfort level with intimacy. 

  • Life stressors – Work, parenting, financial stress, or health concerns can impact emotional and physical connection.

In couples therapy, we work together to identify these barriers and develop strategies to address them in a way that feels safe and supportive for both partners. 

Rebuilding Connection Through Communication 

A major focus of intimacy work in couples therapy is improving communication. Many couples struggle to talk about their needs and desires because they fear rejection or conflict. Couples therapy can help provide tools to communicate in ways that foster connection rather than distance. 

Some techniques that can be helpful include: 

  • Using “I” statements – Expressing feelings in a way that focuses on personal experience rather than blame (e.g., “I feel disconnected when we don’t spend quality time together” instead of “You never make time for me”). 

  • Active listening – Truly hearing and validating your partner’s feelings before responding.

  • Reframing intimacy as a shared experience – Approaching intimacy as a journey you are on together, rather than an obligation or expectation.

Taking Small Steps Toward Greater Intimacy 

Intimacy is not something that changes overnight, but small, intentional actions can make a significant impact. Therapy often includes guided exercises or homework assignments that encourage couples to rebuild their connection outside of sessions. This might include non-sexual touch, expressing appreciation more frequently, or scheduling intentional time together without distractions. 

By approaching intimacy as an evolving process, rather than a problem to fix, couples can cultivate a deeper, more fulfilling connection over time. 

Is Couples Therapy Right for You? 

If you and your partner are struggling with emotional or physical intimacy, seeking couples therapy is a proactive and compassionate step toward understanding each other more deeply. No matter where you are in your relationship, therapy can provide the tools, support, and guidance needed to foster a healthier, more connected partnership. 

Intimacy concerns are normal in long-term relationships, and addressing them with openness and curiosity can lead to greater closeness and fulfillment. If you’re considering couples therapy, know that you’re not alone—and that meaningful change is possible with the right support.

 

Tips From a Licensed Couples Therapist On Navigating Work/Life Balance

 

In today’s fast-paced world, maintaining a healthy work/life balance is more challenging than ever. As a licensed couples therapist, I’ve worked with countless individuals and couples grappling with the stress of balancing professional demands with personal relationships. Fortunately, with mindful strategies and open communication, it’s possible to reclaim balance and thrive both at work and home. 

1. Define Your Priorities Together 

For couples, aligning on shared priorities is crucial. Sit down together and discuss what’s most important to you both—whether it’s spending more time as a family, pursuing personal hobbies, or advancing your careers. This clarity can help guide your decisions and set boundaries that align with your shared goals. 

2. Set Realistic Expectations 

Perfection isn’t the goal—balance is. Accept that some days, work may take precedence, while other days personal life will. Avoid comparing yourself to others and focus on creating a routine that works for your unique circumstances. 

3. Create Non-Negotiable Time Blocks 

Establish specific times dedicated to work, family, and self-care. Treat these blocks as sacred appointments that can’t be interrupted unless absolutely necessary. For example, commit to family dinners or an hour of uninterrupted quality time with your partner each evening. 

4. Communicate Needs and Boundaries 

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Let your partner know when you’re feeling overwhelmed and what you need from them for support. At work, advocate for realistic deadlines and set boundaries, such as not checking emails after a certain hour. 

5. Share Responsibilities 

For couples, dividing household responsibilities can alleviate stress and foster teamwork. Create a shared task list and delegate based on each other’s strengths and availability. Remember, balance is a team effort! 

6. Unplug to Reconnect 

Technology often blurs the line between work and personal life. Set aside device-free time to focus on each other, whether it’s during meals, date nights, or before bed. These moments can nurture emotional intimacy and provide a much-needed break from the digital world. 

7. Practice Self-Care 

Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Ensure that both you and your partner are carving out time for individual activities that rejuvenate you, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or pursuing a hobby. When you’re both taking care of yourselves, you’ll have more energy to give to each other. 

Achieving work/life balance is an ongoing process that requires intention and effort. By prioritizing communication, setting boundaries, and supporting each other, you can create a life that feels fulfilling both professionally and personally.

If work/life imbalance is causing persistent conflict or stress in your relationship, seeking professional guidance through individual therapy or couples therapy can be incredibly beneficial. A couples therapist can provide tools and strategies to help you navigate these challenges and strengthen your partnership.

 

Beyond Gifts: 5 Ways to Make This Valentine’s Day More Meaningful

 

Strengthen your relationship this Valentine’s Day… and everyday

Valentine’s Day often brings pressure—grand gestures, expensive gifts, and picture-perfect romance. But true intimacy isn’t built in a day; it’s nurtured through small, meaningful moments all year long. Instead of focusing on what you do this Valentine’s Day, consider how you connect with your partner in ways that truly matter. For some, seeking professional support through Austin couples therapy can help explore new ways of connecting and improving communication. However, you don’t always need couples therapy to nurture your relationship—small, thoughtful changes can make a big difference.

1. Prioritize Presence Over Perfection

Romance isn’t about an elaborate date or a perfectly written card—it’s about being present with your partner. This means putting down your phone, making eye contact, and truly listening. In Austin couples therapy, therapists often emphasize the importance of being emotionally and mentally present with your partner, and this can have a huge impact on your relationship. Quality time together doesn’t need to be grand—just uninterrupted.

2. Express Appreciation in a Way That Speaks to Them

Gifts and flowers are lovely, but real appreciation runs deeper. Does your partner light up when you express words of affirmation? Do they feel most loved through physical touch or quality time? Consider their “love language” and express your appreciation in a way that resonates with them.

3. Turn Toward, Not Away

John Gottman’s research highlights the importance of “turning toward” your partner instead of away. This means acknowledging small bids for connection—like responding when they share a funny meme, engaging when they vent about their day, or giving a quick hug when they walk in the door. These moments may seem insignificant, but they are the foundation of a strong relationship.

4. Have a ‘State of Our Union’ Conversation

Valentine’s Day can be a great time to reflect on your relationship. Consider setting aside 20–30 minutes to check in with each other. Ask questions like:

  • What’s been working well in our relationship lately?

  • Is there anything I can do to make you feel more loved or supported?

  • What’s a small change we can make together to improve our connection?

This isn’t about pointing out flaws but about reinforcing what’s going well and making intentional efforts to grow together.

5. Celebrate Love in Your Own Way

Not every couple resonates with the commercialized version of Valentine’s Day, and that’s okay. Maybe your ideal celebration is cooking dinner together, going on a hike, or simply taking a break from the chaos of daily life to relax together. Define what feels good for your relationship rather than what’s expected.

Love That Lasts Beyond One Day

Valentine’s Day can serve as a reminder to nurture your connection—not just today, but every day. The real magic happens in the small moments, the quiet understanding, and the commitment to showing up for each other even when life gets busy.

Building a meaningful connection takes time and effort, but the rewards are immeasurable. Whether you’re making small changes on your own or seeking professional support, like Austin couples therapy, investing in your relationship will help you and your partner grow closer. If you're ready to deepen your bond and improve communication, reach out to us today to explore how couples therapy can support your relationship.

Article by Hannah Eubank, LPC, LMFT

Contact us for Austin Couples Therapy through the link below

 

Unlock the Secret to a Stronger Marriage with the A.R.E. of EFT and Attachment Theory

 

What is EFT?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) utilizes attachment theory, which looks at the bonds one makes throughout life and the patterns of beliefs one holds about oneself and others. A secure bond fosters safety and connection, but experiences of disconnection can cause distressing patterns that challenge our ability to stay connected. 

EFT helps couples and individuals foster secure bonds with one another. At the heart of EFT lies the concept of A.R.E. — an acronym for Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement.

Let's explore what A.R.E. means and ways it can enhance your relationship or marriage with the help of an EFT therapist.

Accessibility in EFT

Accessibility refers to availability and approachability. When you and your partner are accessible to one another, you are physically and emotionally available. This signals that you are a safe space to process challenges, fostering trust and deeper connection.

How to practice Accessibility: 

  • Set up daily time(s) to check in with one another, asking how the other is doing and offering emotional or physical support

  • When having check-ins, try to avoid multitasking 

  • When your partner is sharing vulnerabilities, use active listening skills through body language (i.e., maintaining eye contact, having an open posture, leaning in to listen)

Responsiveness in EFT

Have you ever experienced sharing something important with someone and felt they didn’t hear you or respond? This can be a pain point, and repeated unresponsiveness can create feelings of loneliness and disconnection. Responsiveness not only means actively listening to your partner but also validating their needs with empathy.

How to practice Responsiveness: 

  • Ask questions to gain clarity about your partner's needs (i.e., “What might be important for me to further understand?”)

  • Let your partner know that you acknowledge their emotions without judgment

  • Remain curious (i.e., “Can you tell me more about that?”)

Engagement in EFT

When partners are “engaged” with one another, they appear involved in each other's emotional lives and maintain a close connection. Secure partners seek to mutually understand the other person’s world and know them on a deeper level. Engagement fosters depth and mutual purpose. 

How to practice Engagement:

  • Express appreciation for your partner

  • Engage in activities you enjoy together regularly

Whether you are seeking to grow in your relationship with your partner, a family member, or a friend, A.R.E. is an actionable way to begin to transform your relationship or marriage into a deeper and more secure connection.

Reach out to Austin Relational Wellness to begin individual or couples therapy in Austin with an EFT therapist. Our EFT therapists can help you foster accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement and ultimately enhance your relationships.

Related:

 

Start Your Marriage Off Right: Benefits of Premarital Counseling Every Couple Should Know

 

Entering into marriage is one of the most significant life transitions, full of excitement, love, and hope for a shared future. As couples embark on this journey, many seek premarital counseling, hoping to enter their marriage with greater clarity and connection. As a couples therapist, I’ve had the privilege of guiding couples through this process, witnessing how it can deepen understanding, build effective communication, and help establish a solid foundation for a thriving marriage. Here are some of the top benefits of pre-marital counseling and why it’s a valuable investment in your future together. 

1. Strengthen Communication Skills 

One of the cornerstones of a healthy marriage is effective communication. While most of us believe we’re good at expressing ourselves, communicating in a relationship requires skills that many people aren’t naturally equipped with. Premarital counseling provides a safe environment to explore how you and your partner communicate, including learning to listen actively, express feelings openly, and navigate conflicts constructively. Couples often find that understanding how to communicate before they hit major life challenges can make those challenges less daunting and more manageable. 

2. Setting Realistic Expectations 

Every couple brings their own set of expectations to the marriage, often shaped by personal experiences, family backgrounds, and cultural influences. Premarital counseling allows couples to explore and clarify these expectations, from household responsibilities and financial management to parenting and lifestyle choices. By openly discussing these topics before marriage, couples can align their expectations, fostering a sense of shared goals and mutual respect. 

3. Understanding Each Other’s Background 

We each carry influences from our upbringing and family dynamics that affect how we approach relationships. Premarital counseling encourages each partner to explore how their family history, values, and past relationships impact their current behavior and needs. This understanding creates empathy and insight, helping partners to approach each other with greater patience and compassion. 

4. Enhance Intimacy and Connection 

Premarital counseling often covers topics related to emotional and physical intimacy, encouraging couples to share their needs, boundaries, and insecurities. This openness is essential for a satisfying relationship where both partners feel seen and valued. 

5. Strengthen Conflict-Resolution Skills 

When disagreements arise, how they’re handled matters more than what they’re about. Premarital counseling equips couples with tools to approach conflicts in a constructive manner, emphasizing mutual respect and collaboration. These skills can make all the difference in ensuring that conflicts don’t linger or create emotional distance but instead become opportunities to grow closer and understand each other better. 

6. Building Financial Transparency and Goals 

Money can be a source of tension in relationships, especially when partners have different attitudes toward saving, spending, or debt. Premarital counseling gives couples the chance to discuss financial expectations openly and to

create a joint plan for managing finances. By talking through budgeting, financial goals, and responsibilities, couples can feel better equipped to handle financial stressors as a team.

Premarital counseling is a meaningful investment in your relationship, one that lays the groundwork for a resilient, loving partnership. By choosing to explore each other’s values, learn effective communication, and prepare for the possible challenges ahead. 

If you’re thinking about starting premarital counseling, consider reaching out to a therapist who specializes in premarital counseling. Whether you’re engaged or simply considering marriage, our experienced therapists at Austin Relational Wellness are here to equip you with skills and insights that will strengthen your relationship during your engagement and as you transition into marriage.

Book your appointment here. We look forward to helping you create a strong foundation for your future together!